The Memories of a Former Captive
by Lunexa
Summary: "Three miserable weeks, three weeks filled with fat salty tears, wrung up hands, pure black coffee and growing nightmares" Leonardo's been gone, for far too long. The Hamato's are crumbling down like toppling dominoes. Once they find Leonardo will everything be okay, or will this odd little family plummet down a void of depression?
1. He's Back

**The voted story is beginning and this story I think will be a short one but not that short so do not worry anyways. Its going to start out a bit different form most torture stories and that's why I'm exited to see how this will turn out.**

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_The scariest monsters are the ones that lurk within our souls..._

_-Edgar Allan Poe_

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Three miserable weeks, three weeks filled with fat salty tears, wrung up hands, pure black coffee and growing nightmares. Raphael glared at the wall, as if everything that had gone wrong was all the chipped up yellow cement wall's fault. He waited with little patience for his brothers to meet him at the entrance to start their search once again, which would be fruitless once again. The red clad turtle smeared a hand across his weary face, sighing as he did so.

Donatello arrived first, under his doe brown eyes were bags, indicating that for the past 72 hours or so, since he last took a rest, was fueled by his ground black coffee, and five hour energy drinks. The resident genius and medics eyes were alarmingly red and puffy due to all the nights he spent with his gazed fixed at the computer screen. His fingers trembled ever so slightly, still cramping from typing so fast and hard during these three torturous weeks.

Michelangelo came padding right behind, if not for the actions he just did, you would have thought he was dead on his feet by the way he gave you such a shuddering cold look and how his shoulders seemed to hunch. The young exuberant child he used to be was somewhere buried under this haggard looking face. After one week, the hopeful turtle had snapped, raving on and yelling obscenities and profanities, damning anyone who came near him. His last words before he retired to his room was, "I have given up, you may take these false hopes and drown them in my salty tears" It had left everyone quite stunned.

The threesome nodded to each other solemnly and took their leave out the door, closing it softly behind. Master Splinter, who was at the entrance to his room, watched them go. The rats onyx eyes glistened with a never ending sorrow. Through these three weeks it had felt like he had aged a couple of a hundred years by the way the stress pulled and stretched at his tired bones. His sons could tell that he leaned more heavily on his cane and that he faltered in his steps. The ninjutsu masters voice had gone as raspy as fall leaves being crunched in someones hands. His fur bristled and unkempt.

Splinter prayed to the deity's of the world, hoping that this search wouldn't be as futile as the others. That his pupils would somehow find a clue to their lost elder brother, who had disappeared without a trace three weeks ago. Leonardo had informed them he wished to go out for some fresh air, with Splinter's consent of course, which Splinter had let him. Now, while he bitterly looked at the morose lair, Splinter cursed at himself for letting his eldest go off to the surface world.

A petite pale hand on his shoulders shook Splinter from his distasteful thoughts. His onyx eyes traveled from the hand up the arm and to the face of the owner. April O'neil. Her face seemed paler than usual and her cheeks clung on to the bones on her face. Their human friends, April and Casey, had immediately started helping once they found out that Leonardo was missing. April would help Donatello, and go for groceries when the time called for it. Casey wandered the streets both day and night, trying to get some info on where Leonardo was being held captive.

April gave the old rat a shaky smile, linking arms with him and gently guiding him into the kitchen. April grabbed the rusty old kettle and set to work on making some much needed tea while Splinter fetched two chipped mugs and set them down on the table. They waited in silence for the water to boil, both staring at each other with weary eyes. As April opened her mouth to speak, the kettle whistled, interrupting the woman. She silently turned of the stove and poured the tea into both cup before she sat down on one of the chairs facing towards Splinters.

"Thank you Miss O'neil for your hospitality. Your company, as well as Mister Jones, was dire to my sons and I" Splinter murmured, breaking the ice of silence.

April cradled the mug in her hands. The cup was hot in her hands, yet it it gave her no warmth. The warmth which she desired so strongly. She looked up at Splinter,

"Please, you do not need to thank us Master Splinter. You're family and family needs to stick together" To try and lighten the mood she gave him another smile, but it was as empty as the lair itself. The kitchen fell captive to the silence again, the two residents finishing their cups of tea without a sound.

"I am retiring to my room for meditation, do you wish to join me, Miss O'neil" Splinter asked, already on his way to his room.

"No, thank you, I will be in the lab if you need" She responded, bowing her head low in a sign of respect. Splinter nodded and limped to his room, closing the door gently. April let her eyes droop,

_How much longer can they hold like this? Since Leo left, they've been a shell of themselves. "We only have each other, if one of us goes down, we all go down" Oh Leonardo, you were so right. Each of you and your brothers have a special part to keep you guys up and around. With one missing piece it does not work. Like a body without a heart. Like a puzzle missing the last piece. _

April examined the lair: Michelangelo video games stuffed on a shelf along with movies, collecting dust, the punching bag lying on the floor haphazardly, from the last time Raphael beat the daylights out of it, the missing sound of cheerful laughs from the kitchen as Michelangelo tried to teach his brothers how to cook, Leo's candles in the dojo crammed in a corner, not one lit since that fateful day. April let her exhausted small body collapse on the worn out blue couch, sinking into the cushions and dropping her head in her hands.

April was tempted to cry, scream, sob, anything but the horrible silence crushing her chest, but somehow it felt like her vocal chords had been ripped out with bare hands. The woman's head snapped up as the lair door opened and a chorus of frantic voices followed. Shuffled steps, ragged breathing, breathless whispers. April took a quick look at her watch, 1:20, they had only been gone two hours. They were usually gone at least four hours. April shot off the couch and turned around facing three turtles scramble around, reaching for medical supplies and fresh bed sheets for the cots. The turtles froze for a millisecond before returning to their duties.

April was shocked, in that measly millisecond she saw Leonardo Hamato curled up in Raphael's arms, barely breathing and covered in blood. He was back.

**Okay, hope you like it! put a lot of effort into it, please review! **


	2. It

**Okay, next chapter! Hope you like it. You might get a little confused at first but I think you'll catch on. **

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_These woods are lovely, dark, and deep,_

_But I have promises to keep,_

_And miles to go before I sleep_

_And miles to go before I sleep_

_-Robert Frost _

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He was staring at the wall again. Why, you ask, well he didn't know. The cell he was in was always dark, always. When the metal door did open heavenly light streamed in, revealing the walls of his little room...which were covered in bloody hand prints and fingers dragging across the floor. In one of the rare times he was left in peace, he had measured the room to be six feet wide and four feet long. No windows, and a ventilation shaft much to small for his broad shoulders and shell.

Leonardo breathed heavily through his nose, his burnt hands trembling and a migraine working its way through his head. He was breaking, they were breaking him. At first Leo had been as stubborn as an ox, not willing for the beatings to get him down. Then, oh god, they had taken pain to another level. He felt like a porcelain doll, so weak and fragile that even when someone just grazed him with their fingertips he would crumble down. How had Leo, the fearless, mighty leader of the Hamato Clan gone down so low.

Damn him, damn him and his weakness! An utter failure! A disgrace to his family, he had tainted his father's surname, and now how would he face them if he ever escaped. No! Leo couldn't go back, he wasn't even worthy to redeem himself. Leo hugged himself tight and dug his nails into his forearms, starting to violently scratch. Lines of blood coursed down his arms.

Being so used to the feeling of pain he couldn't bear the thought of not having it with him. Without the pain he, he felt empty, like a gigantic dark abyss. Pain was his medication, an escape to paradise. An addiction. All that life offered to you was pain, so much pain.

_**So why live, my dear companion **_An oily voice hissed, and there leaning against the wall was a ghastly apparition. Weather _It _was man or woman, Leo did not know. But _it _wore elegant clothes, with a top hat. _It _had pale skin, as white as a sheet and great holes replaced for eyes. _Its_ teeth were razor sharp when _it _smirked and _its_ voice was always in a whisper.

As the days had worn by, this _thing _had appeared, manifesting itself in Leo's failing resolution to live. It had at first greatly disturbed the blue clad ninja, but now _it _was a part of himself along with the pain he desired all the time. A haunting companion for life. _It _taunted him for being weak and a failure, _It_ whispered broken promises to him in ragged breaths. _It_ was his reminder that he was nothing and would never prove to be anything. A measly grain of sand was worth more than him, _It _said.

"Because" Leo's voice faltered. Why did he live? To succumb great amounts of pain. To cry and wail at the wind howling miseries to everyone. And then after all those torturous years, to die. Nothing else but that? Then why do people try to mount up to things if there just going to die? Why go through so much difficulty? So much questions, so much mute answers.

_**Exactly my friend, so why don't you just give in. You know as well as I do that you could kill yourself easily in here without anybody noticing. Come on, you know you want to do it** It_ persuaded, his words sounding so alluring at the moment. Yes, why didn't he kill himself. Why was he here in the first place, who was he?

Suddenly and mysteriously a warmth appeared in Leo's heart, traveling all the way through out his body, shaking him deeply when it reached the core of his soul. Realization dawning on him, enlightening himself in a way.

"Because" Leo started again, with a much stronger voice, "Just beyond these cracked, bloody walls there are people who are waiting for me. They depend in me and I depend in them. We rely in each other, and I will not succumb to the persuasive voice of death for I have many more battles to fight before I go to sleep"

The apparition seemed startled at first, then _It _smiled and rasped,

_**Suit yourself, hang on to these foolish hopes. Just remember, you always have the door to death hanging over yourself  
**_

And with those words, it disappeared in tendrils of smoke. Leo blinked, slightly surprised. He had not expected that. Abruptly the door swung open and a voice said, "I see you're talking to yourself again. Have you already broken, or will I have to create another method of interrogation" Just at the doorway was Oruku Saki, his onyx eyes full of malice and his angular face sharp and strict.

"Do your worst, you fucking excuse for a ninja" Leo spat, feeling bolder than usual. A cold smile tugged at Saki's lips, "Not broken yet" Saki mused humming to himself in an almost cheerful voice, _almost__. _"Do not worry, you will soon break. For now let me introduce you to the iron maiden. An old form of torture. I think you'll have a splendid time"

Rough hands grabbed the ridge if his shell and heaved him up. No matter what they would do to Leonardo, he would not scream and beg for mercy. Leonardo would not break, for he had many more battles to fight before he slept.

**During this chapter, I wanted to let the reader feel the despairing emotions of a captive that was slowly turning insane. It was a bit hard but I hope you like it. Also I put the that quote specifically for this chapter. The woods meaning death, and the miles he had to walk before he rested (death) were his battles left with his enemies. I hope you liked it, and It really struck me with how good this story is doing so far, so thank you! **


	3. Bubbling emotions

**Stop it with your reviews, your making me blush (and inflate my ego) so I am very proud with how this story is progressing and here is one thing you need to READ: This story is different from my previous, some chapters are going to be in different time lines. Example: One chapter it could be the night Leo went missing to the next chapter where they start to treat Leo's injuries, get it? Well then, lets start!**

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_I have immortal longings_

_In me_

_-William __Shakespeare_

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Blue eyes looked longingly at the grizzled sky. His long, raven hair lazily twirled in the breeze. Casey Jones, feet dangling from the edge of an old, grey building. Windows cracked, and walls peeling. His trusty hockey mask lay right beside him, his golf bag strewn across the gritty rooftop. Wasn't he supposed to be trying to find some data where Leonardo was being held captive?

_Why, even 'ry? It's useless. And ta the guys are fallin' apar' wit'out Leo _Thought Casey dryly, sticking his hands in his pockets. The bone head just didn't know what to do. They were toppling down like dominoes all because one fell down, much to early. Sure, everyone knew that he wasn't very sentimental, due to reasons in his childhood but he truly felt lost. Casey hated the accursed feeling, he felt just like it when the shop had burned down and when his father died. Spent weeks slashing wrists and gambling for dope.

Casey buried his head in his hands and let loose a muffled scream of help. You would think he wouldn't be as bothered because it was Leo who was missing not Raph, but Casey had a special place for all of them. Raph coincidentally had much more in common than his other brothers had. But he could go to Leo when he felt those feelings bubbling to the surface, those demons clawing their way into his mind.

Leo helped him overcome those emotions and demons, Casey knew he could always talk about his troubles to Leo. It felt natural of him to go to the leader for aid. Now his protection was gone and the others who are also so dear to him were shattering like broken glass. His second family was breaking down. Who was going to stop him from doing dope and going back to drinking?

Casey got to his feet slowly, grabbing his mask and bag. He situated the mask securely on his face and slung the bag over his shoulder. Though tired and tormented with heavy emotions, he had to keep going on, for the sake of the Hamato's. Casey leaped off the edge and soared through the air, hitting ground once again and starting to run.

The night was grizzled with stormy clouds, and thunder clapped in the distance. But he had to keep going. For his brothers. Case slid to a stop, hearing near by almost silent foot steps padding behind him. He cracked his neck and knuckles, swinging out his hockey stick like an expert. He turned around just to come face to face with thirty foot ninja.

"Today's a bad day for y'all, cuz I'm real pissed off!" Casey spat, his grip on the hockey stick tightening. The vigilante didn't wait for them to make a move, he charged. He buried himself deep into the dense crowd of ninja, clubbing everything in his path. A punch came straight towards him, but he dodged in time and crouched taking a swing at the ninja's kneecaps.

Casey ignored the sickening crunch and moved forward, elbowing someone in the face and plunging the hockey stick in the mans solar plexus. As the minutes wore on his movements became choppy and uncoordinated, fatigue setting in. He made a quick exchange for his cricket bat and swung hard, colliding with an unfortunate ninjas face. Swinging high and low, he emerged himself in the vibrations of his cricket bat, the sound of bodies hitting the ground, of velvet spraying onto his face, mixing in with the sweat.

Casey didn't even notice the rain start, didn't notice the large burly ninja behind him aiming his _kusari-fundo _at his head. Lighting flashed, a shadow over Casey's head. The man struck, at the same time Casey dodged just in the nick of time. He whirled around and violently brought the bat down on the ninjas head. Blood erupted and pooled on the ground, next to the sodden bodies.

His lips pulled themselves into a fierce snarl, looking around the now desolate rooftop with a wild glint in his eyes. Casey dropped to his knees, adrenaline draining out to be replace with fatigue. He surveyed the damage he had wreaked; from the still bodies to the ruby colored liquid that began to disperse with the rain.

"Ha! You're all nothin' but a bunch o' cowards, nothin' but a filthy bunch o' cowards!" Casey barked, chortling to himself. A phone ringing pierced the eerie aura that had taken place over the rooftop. Casey let out a string of curses, fumbling in his pockets for the phone. He grabbed it and flipped it open. The other line was static and erratic breathing could be heard,

"Yeah?"

_"It's Leo, Casey, he's back" _

**Okay, so I know it took a while but I had a slight case of writers block, ouch. Anyways I want this story to be focused on everyone's emotions, not jut based only on ones person's turmoils while everyone is all fine and dandy (hehe, dandy) so that's why this chapter is based on Casey, who isn't always wrote about in an emotional level (to me at least) so I hope you like it and please review. **


	4. He's not fearless?

**Okay so it's been a hassle lately to get all these stories going but I'm going to try, wish me luck and enjoy the chapter. **

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_The pure and simple truth,_

_is rarely pure and never simple_

_-Oscar Wilde_

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Donatello's hands trembled with such ferocity that you would think the stitches he had done earlier were impossible for his unsteady hands. A soft hissing sound accompanied by steady beeps filled the silence in the lab. Leo's respirator and heart monitor. He shuddered, just thinking of what could have had happened if they had never found Leo in the sewers.

Their search that evening had started out the same, looking in the sewers close to the vicinity of the lair. Around an hour and a half later, when they started going to the surface world, they had found his body. Just below the manhole. Barely breathing, limbs mangled, and the smell of blood hanging thickly around him. There was so much blood, it covered his body and gushed out in multiple wounds. It was horrid.

Foot steps could be heard shuffling right behind him. Raphael. His foot steps are always heavy, not much though put into them, but at the same time hard to hear. His breathing was ragged and shuddered when he exhaled. Emerald green hands appeared on Donny's olive colored shouldered. Raph squeezed Don's shoulders in reassurance.

"I'm scared, Raph" Don confessed, his voice cracking. He really was scared, what would happen to Leo? People don't just bounce back up after these kind of traumatic events. That was just in the movies and books. But this was real life and real life didn't get happy endings, it rarely ever got happy endings. That was just life. Women get raped, Men get slaughtered, kids get kidnapped, it was a messed up world.

"Everythin' will be okay" Raph assured, though both him and his brother knew that he was lying. Nothing was going to be the same, not in a long time.

"Where's Mikey?" A way to change the subject. They didn't want to talk about the inevitable.

"He's passed ou' on the couch, the knuckle head hasn't been able ta sleep since..." since his big brother mysteriously disappeared without a trace. Michelangelo always had an over imaginative mind, so when it came to these situations all he could think of was Leonardo dead in a ditch, Leonardo in the bottom of the Hudson river, Leonardo six feet under. All possible scenarios haunted poor Mike's mind.

Don's head rested against one of Raph's hands, that were still on his shoulders, and sighed. A wet liquid streamed down Raph's hands and dripped on the floor. He looked down to see Don crying softly, tears leaking out of his shut eyes, and shoulders shaking in silent sobs. Raph awkwardly hugged him from behind. It was not that he didn't love his brothers, it was just that he didn't know how to act in these situations. Don would listen to them and give them advice, Mike would try to make them laugh, and Leo would console them.

Raph was just not the type of guy to talk to when things got screwed up. He was just, well, Raph.

"Don' worry Donny, were talkin' about fearless leader here, he's too stubborn" Another lie. Raph couldn't Leo imagine not bouncing back, he was there strong fearless leader. It felt wrong, as wrong as a chilly breeze in the middle of a scorching July day.

"That's just it Raph, this isn't some stupid fairy tale!" Too much, just too much stress, Don's fraying rope had finally snapped, "His injuries are beyond serious! Something that traumatic is bound to break someone. Were not just talking about some measly nightmares after this, I'm talking about PTSD, when the body cant heal the trauma, and this can go on for years! Even for Leo, and who knows what's going to happen after he wakes up" the last part ended in a low hoarse whisper.

Raph's eyes widened the size of saucers at Don. His level headed brother had just snapped at him. Sure, Donny could be a snappish turtle from time to time, and those occasions usually involved his coffee. Raph snapped out of his stupor and barked,

"Bu' he's Leo!"

"Leo isn't immortal, he's not invincible or unbreakable, and he's far from from fearless!"

"So yar sayin' that out brother is nothin' but a' coward! Is tha' what'cha sayin'?" Raph was seething, how dare Donny accuse Leo of not being able to handle this situation! He was Leo for crying out loud! He survived Shredder's ambush, defeated the ultimate ninja, pulled through when Karai stabbed him, the first one to show his dragon avatar and countless other things. What couldn't Leo do! Raph just didn't get it.

"No, that's not what I'm saying, the thing is Leo isn't some great god, he can be defeated, Raph" And with those words he trudged out of the lab. Raph's blood was boiling! That wasn't true! Leo...he...he could never let down his family, it just wasn't right. He let out an animalistic growl and and balled his hands into fists. Raph sighed, knowing it would do no good to start bashing walls even though it made him feel better.

Raph slumped down on a rickety stool, making it creak in protest. He clutched at his head and willed himself not to cry, but no matter how hard he tried the tears kept building up and blurring his vision. And so, while the lair reigned a deathly silence, with its occupants either asleep or in their rooms, Raphael let the hot fat tears loose, his shoulders shaking and his hand in a vice grip with Leo's bandaged one.

**Sorry! I am so sorry! I haven't updated in a while and all this stress with seventh grade starting in less that a week and I'm like HOLY SHIT Cause I still need to do my homework and I am literally pulling my hair out. And now I'm rambling to you so I'll just go, hope ya liked the chapter, I out! (hehe always wanted to say that)**


	5. Silence is Golden

**Just started school, and let's just say I'm very frightened! Anyways hope you don't get too mad that I didn't update, but here it is! **

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_When you are mad, mad, like this, you don't know it._

_Reality is what you see. When what you see shifts,_

_departing from anyone else's reality,_

_its still reality to you._

_- Marya Hornbacher_

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Breathing in the stale air, he marveled at his fingers as he picked at his nails. Leo smiled innocently as he saw a pearl of scarlet swell to the surface, examining it closely before he popped his finger in his mouth and sucked. His eyes seemed to be hollow and smiling wider by the second. Footsteps rang out, reverberating off the bloody walls of his small cell, making Leo look up from his corner. The door opened wide revealing Oroku Saki, his face seemingly etching a scowl for all eternity.

Leo cocked his head, his eyes slightly changing back to the coal determined eyes they once were, a guttural roar tearing out of his mouth. Moving at the speed of light he charged at Saki, only for the zapping pain of electricity to course through him. Leo dropped to the ground like a sack of potatoes, twitching and writhing on the floor helplessly.

Saki chuckled a humorless chuckle as he watched the terrapin growl like a wild animal and bare his teeth at him, even though the pain was evident on his face. The sinister man was almost amused that after a week in 'hell' Leonardo still hadn't broken. Almost. He couldn't wait to see his most vile enemy, the thorn in his side, his much too long nemesis break at his feet. Couldn't wait to see him beg for death as crimson pooled around him. For Leonardo to obey him like an obedient dog after so much abuse.

Saki ordered something in Japanese to the ninjas flanking behind him. The ninjas stepped into the small confinements and each grabbed the sickly thin arms of the blue clad turtle. They yanked him up, the bones in Leo's arms threatening to be pulled out of their sockets. Leo stumbled to his feet unsuccessfully, his knees bending and smacking on the marble floor with a loud clap.

One of the ninjas grumbled something and backhanded him. Hard. Leo's head snapped sideways at the force of the blow, his black and blue neck firing with pain alongside his now red cheek. The black clad men tried again to heave the turtle up, only to receive the same effects. Knowing that Leo wouldn't get up, they dragged him, his feet awkwardly dragging painfully across the slick floor.

The turtles mind was in a haze as he was dragged in dizzying corridors, all hallways black and the walls emblazoned with the foot logo. Leo didn't even try to remember the sharp turns the halls took and how many doors he passed. It was pointless, the building was designed so that any unwanted intruders would get easily lost.

_I wouldn't be surprised if each of the foot had a map_ He thought dryly, taking yet another turn that spiraled into a set of stone stairs. They climbed up, ignoring the soft high pitched whines that escaped Leo as his feet crashed into each of the stone steps. In a matter of two more hallways they stopped at a door and opened it.

The room was no Buckingham palace, with its imperial pride looming over citizens. It was just bare and hallow, no color on the walls. The only thing unnerving was the dark leather straps that were attached to the wall. Without missing a beat they strapped him up, tightening the rough leather till it cut the circulation off the reptilians hands and feet.

Shredder strolled in, his scowl still as present as ever. He examined Leonardo with arrogant superiority, an imperceptible smile gracing his pursed lips. He grunted another order in the foreign language to one of his ninjas, the ninja scurrying to obey his master before he felt the wrath of his gauntlet on his scrawny neck.

Seconds later he returned with a hose. A perplexed expression on Leo's face appeared as he examined the seemingly normal hose. Nothing out of the usual, unless they sprayed him down with the gooey essence his brother, Michelangelo, had once showered his brother and him with. It had caked his skin and dried faster than fast cement. Spent weeks scrubbing himself raw before a crack of forest green skin could appear.

He mentally snorted at the amusing memory. A sudden sharp pain laced in his heart as his thoughts started revolving around his family. How he would kill for just one fleeting look at Raphael's defiant lava amber eyes. To smell the oil and soot on Donatello walking out of his lab. To hear the giddy laughter of Michelangelo. To feel his father's warm gray fur.

Ice cold water blasting at his face brought him back to reality. He sputtered and hacked as water found its way in his nose and mouth. He blinked the water out of his eyes as best as he could and glared at Shredder. If looks could kill, well Shredder wouldn't be dead, but if looks could torment Shredder would be writhing in pain on the floor by now.

"Were going to try something different today. Were going to play a game, I'm going to ask a question and if you don't answer me then I'll have my ninja spray you down with freezing water. If you answer _all _my questions at the end of the game you get a loaf of bread" Saki explained.

At the mention of food, his stomach roared in approval. His insides made a lurch and he almost doubled over as a cramp seized him. Saki, not needing to hear any acceptance from his 'guest' asked the first question.

"Where is your domain?"

Silence. Cold water splashed on him several time. He didn't even pull one breath before he was hit with another question.

"Where is the utrom base?"

The steady dripping of water from Leo's beak to the floor substituted the silence this time, though no words came from his mouth. This time the Ninja hosed him down for a minute, not even letting Leonardo breathe in between.

"Where do your brothers patrol?"

Leo spit at him, an unspoken answer clearly written in his eyes: "I'll tell you nothing" his coal eyes said as they burned and raged with a hidden strength in them. A strength Saki desired to break into shards with his bare hands if he had to.

The business man wiped the wad of spittle off his cheek, a look of disgust and rage contorting his angular features. He barked at Leo like a raving dog, his patience at its limits,

"Answer me you insolent fool! I'll cut your tongue if I have to" Saki pulled a tanto from a small hidden sheath, the blade singing as it left its dwelling. Leo snorted out loud this time, he smirked a smirk much like Raphael's before he raced into a daring battle.

"You cant do that. I'd be useless to you if all I could do was make noises. Isn't that right? Your threats are empty" He said this with a husky voice, his throat so parched it could be used as sandpaper.

Saki's scowl deepened. He gave a curt nod to the ninja with the hose, and sharply walked out of the dull little room. Leo could see the mask crinkle under the foot ninja face as he grinned sadistically. He sprayed the water at him repeatedly, the cold liquid soaking him to the bones. Leo tried to breathe but no oxygen came in, only ice cold water. He chocked and tried to cough, only making the matter worse.

The ninja stopped, seeing the terrapin trying to breathe before he once again showered him over and over and over. His mind was sluggish yet in panic, he couldn't breathe and he felt like he was sinking at the bottom of the Hudson river like an anchor. Water painfully got in his nose and eyes making it all the harder to keep the drowning motion away.

Leo tried flailing his arms around in an attempt to swim, but all he could do was struggle against the tight bounds. He tried to pull in a breath again, but only water seeped through his mouth. There was water everywhere and he could only imagine himself sinking in a vast sea. The blurry image of the ninja spraying him rippled into darkness...

**Okey-dokey, you're probably all pissed off at me and I'm so sorry. Please forgive me, and here's a cookie and a carrot (cant forget the greens!) Please review if you liked this chapter. Bye!**


	6. Without one, There is Nothing

**I'm back baby! Thank you for all your reviews, especially The One Who got Away, Rose Black Dragon, and leo0256. Thank you all so much and I am so sorry I haven't got time to update lately my life's already crammed as it is, because y'know I do have Life  
**

**Readers: Sure you do**

**Oh shut up! Okay, enough idle prattle, on with the story!**

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_Anger is an acid that can do more harm _

_to the vessel in which it is stored,_

_than to anything on which it is poured_

_-Mark Twain_

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The sound of the refrigerator opening, some grumbling and closing brought Mikey to the conclusion that his hotheaded brother, Raphael, was drunk off his top from his now sixth beer. He massaged his temples, a usual habit that he caught from Don when the whole fiasco started. His mask lay haphazardly on the floor, his fingers too numb to pick it up.

The once jubilant character cast another weary glance at his fallen brethren, hoping for him to show signs of awakening, but his brother merely slept on, ignoring his younger brother's silent please.

Everything had gone so wrong when Leo left. It was like a chunk had been brutally ripped out of Mikey when Leo left, like his sanity had been stripped away. Reality itself was surreal, the weeks jumbling together, hours seeming like minutes, colors swirling in and out of focus. Some more grumbling could be heard in the living room, the springs in the old beaten up couch protesting as Raph threw his weight on them quite abruptly.

Honestly, all this orange clad turtle wanted to do was to let the earth swallow him whole, letting the planet's core embrace him. He remembered the many days he hoped Leo would come back, and now after three weeks of insanity, low and behold the great fearless leader came crawling back.

Mikey threw himself off the chair, a sneer on his face. "Who needs you anyway?" He whispered harshly, "Were doing fine without you. Actually, I think were doing better without your lame-ass skills"

Mikey felt hot and angry, his fists clenching, letting loose, and clenching again. Somewhere in the back of his mind he thought, _Whoa, don't start pulling a Raph on me Mikey, that's only for laundry day!_

"You were always nagging us, maybe that's why you sucked, or was it your self-blame game 'oh look, come and pity me, I'm the one to be blamed' Pathetic!"

Mikey was pacing around the room erratically now, the way a caged tiger would. His cheeks were flushed a dark sea green and his bright blue eyes swam with tears that he was determined not to let loose. Mikey tried to yell more obscenities at his brother, but a large lump of emotion had formed in his throat. He tried swallowing, but his attempts were in vain.

The youngest of the Hamato clan sagged to his knees next to Leonardo's cot. His heart was finally slowing down and the anger was melting away, he exhaled. He lay his head on Leo's bandaged plastron and whispered bleakly,

"I'm sorry, I...I guess I'm just so mad that are family's not the way it used to be. I was just so tired and scared and confused. We just want you to come back..."

He lay there for what seemed like years, listening to the somewhat steady heartbeat of his elder brother. With another sigh he lifted his head, which felt like it had gained two tons, and gazed at Leo.

Now that Leo's face was cleaned of all the sweat, grime, and blood you could see deep welts on one side of his cheek, going from his cheek bone all the way down to his jaw line. The right eye seemed to have been swollen shut and was resolute on staying that way. His lips were cracked and split and his gaunt face seemed to make his ghastly pale green skin look even more horrific.

Mikey could remember September the 16th quiet clearly. It was the day when Leo had disappeared behind those elevator doors, heard the hum of the ancient machine, followed by the rumble of the rusty garage doors, and without even thinking about it as Mikey went off with his daily activities, he was gone. And the days that proceeded weren't any better...

* * *

_**Date: September, 16**_

_**Time: 2:35 PM**_

_Mikey was sprawled onto the brown beaten up couch, his mask askew and popcorn adorning every inch of his body. Drool dribbled out of his mouth and onto his chin. The TV's blue neon light lit the surrounding area. The rest of the lair had seemed to form a dark abyss around the bright light like a beacon._

_ A gentle shake of the shoulders roused Michelangelo from his slumber. He sat up, popcorn cascading off his body, and opened his bleary eyes to meet Don's face etched with concern. Before Mike could ask what was the problem, Don beat him to it._

_"Do you know when Leo left?"_

_Mikey's head whipped around to the entrance of the kitchen where a clock was situated on the on top of the doorway. The time slowly registered into his awakening brain and he gazed back at Don who was grimacing at the clock. _

_"Dude, Leo went top side at around seven" _

_Don nodded solemnly, deep in thought. He looked back at Mikey to see his brothers body was stiff with worry. The genius shook his head and smiled at his baby brother, "It's okay Mikey, I'm just a being a little overprotective, I'm sure he's fine. We've been out this late before" Mike's body seemed to relax and he laid back on the couch, repeating Don's words in his head._

_"Yeah, your probably right. Guess I overreacted" Mikey smiled up at Donny, who returned the gesture with a small smile. _

_"Aren't I always right?" He joked, earning himself a playful fist to the shoulder. Don made a move to get back to the sanctuary of his lab when a hesitant hand latched itself onto his wrist,_

_"Do you wanna watch a movie with me? We can wait for Leo to come back like he does when we go out" Mikey asked tentatively, his eyes lingering on the entrance to the lair. Don was going to wait in his lab anyway, the feeling of foreboding thick in the air. It wasn't any harm if he spent the time with his brother. With an affirmative nod, Donny nestled himself onto the popcorn strewn couch while Mike digged into the movie pile for a good video. _

_And they waited for there brother to come back, to maybe hear the rumble of the garage, the hum of the ancient machine, or the swish of the elevator doors opening. But he never came._

* * *

_**Date: September, 18**_

_**Time: 11:22 PM**_

_The wind blew a nice breeze through out New York City, but the wind was the least of Raphael's problems. With a sneer on his face he snarled to both Mike and Don, "We'll never find him, he's disappeared off the face of the earth!" _

_He turned his shell to them, silently brooding while Mikey and Donny exchanged concerned glances at each other. The past day had been spent on waiting for Leo, who had not returned. Splinter had said to wait a day, though with difficulty for he could not shake the feeling that Leo had earned himself a battle too big to fight alone. Reluctantly he let his remaining sons search for Leonardo. _

_Raph kicked up the gravel on the rooftop out of frustration, the sneer still on his face. Raph didn't mean to snap at his brothers, but so much pent up anger since Leo skipped away from their lives, made him want to bite anybody's head off. _

_They had been searching for at least four hours, but no trace could be found. No blood. No signs of a skirmish. No dramatically abandoned bandanna or other type of gear. Not even a cheesy note a villain would write to the good guy. Nothing. Nada. Zero. And it pissed Raph off beyond recognition. Mikey slid his hand into Raph's and Don put his hand on Raphs's shoulder. _

_The red clad turtle had just now noticed that tears were escaping their prison of tightly shut eyes. He didn't even bother to wipe them as his shoulders trembled with silent sobs. Raph just let them keep dropping to the ground as abundant as a thunderstorm. _

* * *

_**Date: September, 21**_

_**Time: 12:46 PM**_

_Time kept on going, life kept on going on, seconds, minutes, hours, days kept on going. Doing their job int the universe, but it seemed to skip one single household. The Hamato's. It was so routinely now, everybody knew their place and everything happened just the same. _

_Get up, have some toast, go to training, help with Don in the lab, eat toast, go have some more training, try to get Raph not to write his suicide note, have more toast and go search for his brother that had vanished without an inkling of a clue to what happened to him. _

_Mikey's life had turned into a repeating movie, a song with the repeat button on until death. The youngest of the Hamato clan shuffled out of his room and into the kitchen, grabbing several pieces of bread and popping them into the toaster. A grunt was all he got from Raph and Donny was practically a zombie shuffling past him to the coffee maker. _

_The toast bounced out of the hot contraption and Mikey put them on a plate and onto the table. Mikey started nibbling on the toast. The repeat button was pressed again. _

* * *

_**Date: September, 24**_

_**Time: 3:58 AM**_

_Sweat beads rolled down his sea green forehead, his shell arching back as far as it would let it. Mikey shrieked, his hands clutching at the bed spread, the rest was in heap that had been pushed off his bed. His heart hammered against his plastron painfully like a hammer trying to break through his ribs. _

_With a jerk and a gasp, Mikey sat stock still. His eyes wide and his breath coming out as wheezes, like he had been running for hours. Mikey swung his legs off the bed and massaged his aching temples. The picture was still fresh in his mind, Leo floating lifelessly in the Hudson river. Leo's glazed eyes opened, the light diminishing fast. His mouth opened in a silent grotesque scream...  
_

_A sob bubbled out of Mikey's chest, followed by another. He dragged his hands roughly on his face, sweat coming off in drips. The nightmares were at it again, and he wouldn't be able to sleep the rest of the night. Mikey whispered to the darkness,_

_"Why wont they leave me alone...I want to sleep...Why w-wont they l-leave me alone..."_

* * *

_**Date: September, 27**_

_**Time: 5:16 PM**_

_A ghost passed though the hallways in the form of Michelangelo. It was wearing Mikey's skin, but the doppelganger was nothing but a fraud for the impersonator did not have the enthusiasm radiating off of him in waves like the real Mikey had. It did not have the life in his voice, or the bounce in his step like the real Mikey had. The body was like an empty vessel. _

_Mikey stopped in front of Leo's door and froze. The first emotion sign that hadn't appeared for days, broke through the surface. But it was of pain and anger and sadness. Hand wavering he reached out for the knob, but stopped inches away and recoiled back, as if he had been burned. Mikey turned his shell to the door, and slid down the wall. _

_He surveyed the living room from the top floor. Don dragged himself out of his lab and made a bee line for the coffee, his eyes crusty with sleep and red from the computer screen. _

_Thump, thump, thump. The sound of flesh hitting leather was always a familiar sound in the lair, but nowadays it sounded so ferocious and echoed loudly through out the quiet lair. _

_And Mikey realized that without one, no matter who it was, they were nothing. _

* * *

Mikey couldn't remember much afterwards but it didn't matter because he knew it was the same bleak lair, and now Leo was back. But what had happened to Leo? They don't know who turtle snatched him, and they don't know how Leo got to the sewers. Mikey sighed and looked at Leo. His breath caught in his throat.

It felt like the room had been sucked dry of oxygen. Leo's eyes fluttered and he whimpered slightly like an abused dog. Mikey waited with baited breath, to scared to call for his brothers.

Suddenly Leo's eyes flew open and sat up straight, not paying attention to his wounds that he had probably just reopened. Leo looked at Mikey, and his arm shot at him, capturing Mikey's neck in a vice grip. Mikey sputtered, gazing at Leo with disbelief. With a strained breath he wheezed,

"Leo?"

**HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I terribly do love those cliffy's. Please review if you liked it. (or want to warrant a complaint for me not updating soon) Thank you for reading this and bye!**


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